Returning to work involves a whole new set of changes and challenges for families, especially for those who only recently have had to adjust to a very different life and routine with a new baby and mother at home.

Advice for couples

It’s important to be as prepared as you can when returning to work. You will quickly discover that you can't do it all. You may have to take a more relaxed approach to the way some things are done around the house.

Feeling guilty or tired and resentful because you're trying to do too much won't help anyone. Returning to work is a shared responsibility across your family. To make things run smoothly, you’ll all have to pull together.

For more information and tips for both partners see Reducing relationship stress.

'Don’t sweat the small stuff. They tell me this, but it’s not always easy. I like the house a certain way and nobody cleans or irons or cooks just the way I do.' Sandra

Save time and minimise stress

• Look after yourself Often parents and carers will leave their needs till last. But you need to look after yourself so you can be fit and healthy to take care of all your responsibilities. It can be hard to achieve but do try to schedule time for an activity you enjoy and that helps you relax and recharge.
• When you cook, cook a little extra When you’re preparing a meal, sometimes it’s a good idea to cook a little extra and freeze it. This meal can be pulled out on a night when you’re feeling tired or are too busy with after school and after work commitments.
• Prepare the night before Your clothes, their clothes, school uniforms, backpacks and daypacks can all be laid out the night before. Most of the lunches can already be packed, water bottles filled and in the fridge.
• Make sure the children go to bed early Staying up late makes the kids ratty at school or care the next day. It also means you don’t have any free time at night to yourself. Get them into a routine – off to bed at a reasonable hour so you can finish all your jobs and then put your feet up to enjoy some down time.
• Have due dates on a whiteboard Our lives are so busy and there are many dates (library, music, sport, doctor’s appointments, etc) that can clog up your weekly calendar. Why not get a small whiteboard and fix it to the refrigerator or a wall in the kitchen? Important dates and commitments can be written up here, giving you all a visual clue of how the week will pan out.
• Prioritise Identify what’s most important and get these things done first. The less important things will work out or fall by the wayside and no one will be worse off for that.
• Make some family time Whether it’s over dinner or an after school activity, you will all feel better if you have a bit of time together as a family.
• Get help Face it, you can’t do everything! Ask the family, your partner and your friends to help out. The children could have a list of their jobs in their room and can tick these off or get stickers as they go. To help you with this and review how things are going after a few weeks, use the Home Roster. Being a perfectionist won’t help. Allow for a bit of mess. If you can afford it, now might be a good time to get in a cleaner or someone to do the ironing or garden.